This post will be a bit different from my others so far. This one deals with a type of betterment or self growth journey rather than an actual destination visit.
On Dec. 31, 2002, I took my last sip of wine as the ball dropped in Times Square. I watched on the tv in our hotel room, traveling home from our family Christmas trip in Miami. My annual “no meat, no alcohol” January was starting the next day. I do this every year as a way to cleanse my insides from the food and drink overload of the holidays. Thanksgiving then Christmas isn’t easy on my waistline and, while it is my favorite time of the year, the parties, dinners, snacks and desserts leave me needing a detox. By the way if you are in a gift giving mood I’d love my 1999 metabolism back. Seriously.
I feel like I flew through January, being meat and wine free was a breeze. I switched my white (boxes because I’m classy) wine for either a Curious cocktail or some kombucha. The Curious cocktails are amazing. They have adaptogens and a little spicy kick to them. My favorite is No. 6, which is a Painkiller sans the rum. Pineapple-y enough to trick me into feeling like I might be on vacation if I could just drown the noise of my kids out. Toward the end of January I attended my cousin Nicole’s beautiful wedding in Cleveland. Alcohol was flowing but I didn’t feel any temptation. I even toasted with a glass of water. I was pretty proud of myself. All of the booze calories I saved I made up for by eating various unattended cake slices around the room. Don’t judge.
People were very supportive when I told them about “Dry January.” I even saw a few news segments on the benefits of a month off and had a few friends taking part in it. However, and it was pretty interesting, once February rolled around it seemed like being dry was out and over. The tide turned quickly.
“Why are you still sober?”
“How can you have fun without a drink?”
“You’ve earned a drink. You have kids!”
One lesson I’ve learned in sobriety is develop a thick skin and know your why. I knew after 31 days how much better I was feeling. My skin looked better, hair was shinier, I had more energy when I woke up in the morning, my workouts improved because I had more stamina, and my always-just-hovering-in-the-background stomach issues were all but gone. I do struggle with anxiety and I felt like my anxiousness was cut in half. I could relax more easily.
So I entered another month, then another and now I find myself at day 113 alcohol free. And while I found folks that aren’t very supportive, I have been messages by friends and friends of friends who are “sober curious” as well. It is so appreciated! I’ve had some great non-alcoholic drink recipes shared with me (a virgin Paloma is perfection) and a couple of informative podcasts that I’ve loved. There is an element of protection in messaging someone, people don’t have to put themselves out there to the world to say “Here I am! Booze free for me!” so for everyone who sent me a message I thank you. It means a ton!!
I found some great online communities and podcasts that shed light and encouragement when you made a decision like this. I was never a “lose it all, end up in a gutter, drink out of a paper bag” type. I’m able to classify myself as a grey area drinker and I chose to step off the booze cruise. Alcohol pervades every aspect of our lives, it’s accepted and everywhere, and I think for a lot of people it’s a nonissue. If it is an issue, or becomes one, just know it’s okay to question your involvement and take a step back if that serves you.
I keep track of my non drinking days on an app on my phone. I wake up, check my email and bank account, then visit my app to click the daily tea cup, saying I’m booze free today. I like a visual reminder of what I’m doing. Along with the health benefits I know I will keep this change for the long term for my children’s sake. Brooke will be 14 in two months and headed to high school this Fall. As I’ve said on a few occasions, Jess and I were both terrible teenagers and we did everything, collectively, except kill someone. As we know the apple may not fall far from the tree, I want Brooke to know that no matter what situation she finds herself in her Mom needs to be her first text/call. Being sober is a part of that promise that I can be available 24/7. My kids will get the best version of me. The one who shows up for the good and the bad.
As I embark on my 44th (!) birthday this weekend, I’ll salute my next trip around the Sun with a glass of Fre wine. And some cake. Because sugar still rocks.
Cheers, all!
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